We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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