There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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