O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You pole danced in your parka.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
