She's JV to your varsity
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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