Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
