my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
