what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
