I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
