Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
