i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
