did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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