what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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