Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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