from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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