I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
