she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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