dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
