we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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