she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
