I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Pants are for mortals
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
