I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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