Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
