White coat. Heels.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
