I showed him my bush... on skype.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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