This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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