I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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