so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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