The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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