If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
