pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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