i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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