last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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