R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize