you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
