ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
