If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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