So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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