garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
