tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
