Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
