my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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