Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
