I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
