the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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