five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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