Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
COCAINE IS GR8
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