i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
