i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize