if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
