mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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