Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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