So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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