we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
