he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you have to choose: penises or morals?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
