I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
