My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
