Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
