Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
