can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
