I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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