Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i think i just lost a toe
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
