wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
