Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize