Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
