I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
