Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
