Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is not my ceiling
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
