cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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