he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
