Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize