me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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