please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
