he thought i was a dude.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
