My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
