its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
