oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She bit a glass in half.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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