I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
