My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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