Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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