All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
