Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize